MOVIE REVIEW: Godzilla x Kong: the New Empire (2024)

King Kong and Godzilla are back, with the latter making waves at the 96th Annual Academy Awards: 2023’s Godzilla Minus One is the first Godzilla movie to win Best Visual Effects. One would hope this means a whole new world or recognition for the G-man, because this radioactive reptile deserves his flowers. Not to leave out Kong, the really great ape is who we start with in the latest MonsterVerse entry, which has put itself as one of the goofier tokusatsu films I’ve ever seen.

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER: Introducing Suko — a troublemaker from the Subterranean Depths.

Kong is getting old: the gigantic ape is show his silverback status, even as he shows his ability to learn and grow in Hollow Earth. As the lone Titan ape in his world, he sets traps for predators and other tasty animals to mitigate their numbers. Even though he is truly king among the beasts, Kong is lonely: no subjects or mating queen. It is by chance when he explores deeper into Hollow Earth that Kong finds some of the Titan apes that built the cyclopean ruins, starting with a baby-sized Kong identified as Suko. This smaller Titan ape acts strangely, as if he’s being mistreated and abused. Kong must know where Suko came from — if there are more apes like him. Indeed Kong find the other Titan apes, and something more sinister and secretive in the depths of the deeper subterranean depths of Hollow Earth.

GODZILLA CULTURE WARS: These new pink spines had the Internet buzzing with theories — if it meant Godzilla was “woke” or gay or trans, because that’s important in the face of atomic reptilian annihilation.

But what of Godzilla? The G-man is on the hunt, fighting kaiju on the surface for no apparent rhyme or reason. He stomps across Europe, destroying Old World architecture the World Wars missed and gobbling up radioactive energy from every power plant within reach. When he fights other kaiju, he absorbs their energy. It’s up to Monarch kaiju specialist Dr. Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall, Passing, The Gift) and Bernie the kaiju conspiracy theorist (Bryan Tyree Henry, If Beale Street Could Talk, “Atlanta” [TV-FX]) to find out why. Dr. Andrews realizes it may have something to do with her adopted deaf daughter Jia (Kaylee Hottle), the last of the Skull Island Iwi tribe from Godzilla vs. Kong. Tagging along is Dr. Trapper (Dan Stevens, Abigail [2023], “Legion” [TV-FX]), a kaiju dentist (sadly, that’s not a typo). While everyone has their unique skill sets, it’s Jia that brings it all together as she can see the signal calling out for help…from Hollow Earth. Who is calling and why? When we find it all out, it leads to some of the wildest, nastiest, goofiest, and destructive kaiju fight scenes put to film since 2013’s Pacific Rim.

<<SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT>>

UNDERGROUND PSYCHICS: The Iwi — the tribe Jia comes from — come from Hollow Earth, and they focus their psychic energy through gigantic crystalline pyramids that can do anything they collectively put their minds to.

I am all for this movie, but there are some hiccups. I can believe in Suko as Kong’s sidekick, because Godzilla has had several lesser partners (Godzooky, Minya, and Godzilla Jr. — they’re three separate monsters) and Mothra had her larvae. I can totally accept one of the unknown “vile vortexes” feeds up to the Pyramids of Giza, because the crystal pyramids match the configuration. I can accept the Scar King — an evil giant lanky red ape of legend—still has the moves and agility to fight and defeat Kong after living for thousands of years unchallenged. I even give Shimo — an ancient kaiju that resembles and ice-type Pokemon and lives near lava flows—a “suspension of disbelief” pass. But I draw a line at the human response to certain globetrotting kaiju shenanigans.
When Godzilla swam through Venice’s canals and stomped though Rome to fall asleep in the Colosseum, the Italian police immediately showed up to put themselves in danger. The French Monarch paramilitary team did the same when Godzilla destroyed a nuclear power plant in the French countryside to consume its energy and they ran straight to the site. The Arctic sub team has a suite of scanners and radar, but they let Godzilla get behind them without being seen to use its atomic breath.
I don’t know if this is a case of being stupid so the movie can happen, but the dumb behavior was mostly inconsequential to the plot and didn’t need to be there. I have never said that about a kaiju movie before, so this truly should be addressed. Now I know why people dislike the human element: there’s just too much foolishness to fill in time. Give us the MonsterVerse lore in concise bursts as it relates to the story (like with the Hollow Earth Iwi tribe), and as for the kaiju? Just “let them fight”, to quote Ken Watanabe’s Dr. Serizawa.

WHO’S THAT POKEMON?: Shimo — an ice Titan Pokemon! Its body is so cold, it can live near subterranean lava flows without suffering burns.

CHOICE CUTS :

• To think everyone expected Godzilla and Kong, but then BOOM! Bonus Mothra. It’s the best kind of surprise.
• Godzilla’s “BITCH WHAT I TOLD YOU” ass-whipping he gave Kong when the giant ape made it to the surface was incredible.
• I took one look at the enhanced Project Powerhouse gauntlet for Kong and was reminded of Cyberpunk 2077’s “gorilla arms” cybernetic add-ons.
• The idea of “Kaiju insurance” makes me confident nobody would be able to afford it since human healthcare insurance is damned near impossible to afford.
• Bernie’s character was wasted; that is all.
• My head-canon says Suko is the Scar King’s son, making him heir to the throne, right?
• The crystal pyramids matching with the Egyptian pyramids of Giza was a great choice. It lends itself to other unsolved global mysteries surrounding how so many cultures came to build pyramids.
• I am very happy to see Rachel House (Thor: Ragnarok, Moana [2016], Whale Rider) on screen again.

PROJECT POWERHOUSE: (insert “Pacific Rim” title theme here)

• Mothra looks less fluffy and more insectoid, which may bother some people.
• No sign of Millie Bobby Brown; perhaps she’s getting an education in the Upside Down.
• I understand the need to turn some kaiju blood green to avoid an NC-17 rating, but the CG team could have just turned the flesh green also instead of leaving it pink.
• A kaiju dentist? I don’t know if the recurring theme of kaiju teeth is of concern, but it’s dumb.
• Shoutout to the Asian actors portraying the Iwi, especially Fala Chen (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) as the Iwi Queen and stuntwoman Yeye Zhou (The Fall Guy [2024]) playing the chief Iwi warrior.
• I honestly thought Jia was gonna reveal she was part of a Mothra Twin Fairy pair the whole time when she was sent to summon Mothra. Looking deeper, the psychic Iwi tribe to which Jia is related resembles the same tribe that cares for the Shobijin — AKA the Mothra Twin Fairies — in the Japanese Godzilla movies. Perhaps Kaylee Hottle will return in a possible third installment of Godzilla x Kong where she plays her own twin.

APE SLAVES: The Scar King has made these Titan apes his slaves for millennia, giving them each a crimson mark so they know who owns them.

• Our kaiju fight across many countries— France, Italy, Egypt, Brazil, Greenland — in their never-ending search for dominance through savage combat.
• Shimo looked like a bootleg Lugia from Pokemon SoulSilver.
• To learn that Jia comes from a tribe of people that don’t speak and communicate telepathically is an amazing thing for a deaf person — you hear them and they hear you without a word spoke or heard!
• Watching Kong beat the other Titan apes about their heads with Suko was a delight.
• Several kaiju and thousands of innocent bystanders died to bring you this entertainment; the least you could do is TURN OFF YOUR PHONE DURING THE MOVIE.