MOVIE REVIEW: Rebel Moon part 2: the Scargiver (2024)
In a world built on instant gratification, waiting on the punchline for a joke is a valuable skill learned through patience and discipline. You have to wade through what sounds like a bad joke or a very badly-told great joke to get what can be an amazing punchline or a welcome subversion of expected norms. The same can be said of movies: sometimes you have to slog through a slow and horrible film to get an amazing third act finish and satisfying denoument. Such was the case with Zack Snyder’s sci-fi epic film pastiche Rebel Moon part 1. I watched the first on release week because I was sold on the film from the commercials, and it was the funniest thing I had seen in a while. Then the silly sci-fi movie had the gall to end on a cliffhanger: part two was coming out, called “The Scargiver”. One more time, I WAS SOLD. Now having watched the sequel to the silly sci-fi show, I can say the film did not disappoint.
<<SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT>>
Picking up from the preceding film, our heroine Kora (Sofia Boutella, Argylle [2024], Atomic Blonde [2017]) and her merry mercenary band — disgraced general Titus (Djimon Hounsou, Shazam 2: Fury of the Gods [2023], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword [2017]), rebel fighter Milius (Elise “E.” Duffy), the dethroned Prince Tarak (Staz Nair, Bazodee [2015], “Supergirl” [TV-the CW]), cybernetic samurai Nemesis (Doona Bae, Jupiter Ascending [2015], Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance [2002]), and local man Gunnar (Michael Huisman, The Young Victoria [2009]) — return to Veldt to train the villagers. But first some strategy: under General Titus’ command, the villagers are to process the grain the Imperium demanded in three days (not the usual 5 days it takes), then to pile up the flour sacks as protective cover around the buildings— if Veldt is bombarded, the Imperium risks destroying the grain they came for. The villagers get it done, and THEN our heroes train the villagers to defend their homes with weapons and fortifications. The villagers get that done also, and then they celebrate. During the celebrations, our heroes begin to reveal to each other their backstories and reasons for fighting the Imperium:
- Nemesis’ children were killed by the Imperium in a raid on her home planet of Daggus, so she sacrificed her arms so she could wield the thermal blades (read: lightsabers) through her new cybernetic limbs for revenge.
- Prince Tarak’s father — the king of planet Samandrai — died when he met the Imperium’s landing party, and his mother the queen committed suicide as Tarak fled on her order from the Imperial invasion force. Though he’s the last of a dead royal bloodline (more on that later), he swears revenge for his entire society.
- Milius’ village surrendered to the Imperium and was enslaved all the same, spread about the galaxy as laborers. When Darius Bloodaxe and the Resistance™ freed her, she dedicated herself to the rebels’ fight against the Imperium.
- General Titus was assigned to raze the rebellious parliament of Sarawu; he and his men said no. The general and his men were captured by the Imperium, but Titus asked for mercy of his men — execute him, but not his men. The Imperium instead kept Titus alive and slaughtered all his men with an orbital strike. Left to wander in disgrace, Titus was lost before Kora found him; he swears to never surrender to the Imperium.
- Veldt is Gunnar’s village, so that’s why he’s fighting.
- Kora tells the team a story about herself, strategically leaving out the important parts: the reason why Kora started this quest in the first place is because she was responsible for the assassination of Motherworld ‘s royal family — its king (Cary Elwes, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare [2024], “Stranger Things” [TV-Netflix]), queen (Rhian Rees, The Sendoff [2022], Halloween [2018]), and princess. Kora (as Arthelais) was instrumental in killing the magical Princess Issa (Stella Grace Fitzgerald, The Dancing Monkey [2023]) on behalf of Belisarius (Fra Fee, Cinderella [2021]). Once done, Belisarius blamed her as the sole assassin and forced Kora to flee.
It no longer matters as the Imperium comes right on time in their flagship, The King’s Gaze. What happens next is a wild fight between hardened Imperial forces with armored reinforcements and hastily trained Veldt villagers who have never seen combat, full of slow-motion laser fire and slow-motion melee combat — a Zack Snyder staple. The fight is long, heroes die, and includes a returning villain Admiral Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein, If Beale Street Could Talk [2018], Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon [2021]), back from the dead with dark magic and technology! It doesn’t matter, as Kora gave him a choice: either leave with the grain or she promised to take his head. Admiral Noble chose violence, so she made good on her vow with a thermal blade.
As the funeral pyres for Veldt’s honored dead burned, Titus revealed to Kora he knew she was lying about who she was and what she did. He also revealed princess Issa’s magic kept her alive after being shot. Thus they have a new directive: find the princess (to restore the royal family) and fight (because Belisarius is a usurper and must die for his crimes). That last part was me, because it’s very clearly a setup for a third movie to cap off a franchise trilogy.
THE END…of part two.
I knew this film was gonna be funny-bad, despite the bad reviews before and during the theatrical run. What I watched had predictable dialogue, incredibly extended wheat-harvesting scenes, and truncated relationship developments. Once they got past the backstories, the movie became very focused on combat which made the movie come alive. Again, the PG-13 rating haunts the film — made yet again with allusions to a Director’s Cut they want us to watch instead of/in addition to the standard version coming soon. I can say that while I probably won’t watch this again I WILL be there for part three — if one is ever made.
CHOICE CUTS:
- PRICELESS QUOTES: Tarak’s statement of “I’m the last member of a dead bloodline” set me on edge. If his bloodline is patrilineal, he’s fine. If not, as the sole surviving member of his royal family he can change the rules. He can also just have a baby with Milius if he wants. Idiot.
- SHOWER THOUGHTS: If Belisarius has a problem with brown people, then rescues a brown-skinned girl to train her in violence and grooming her to obey willingly, then revealed his hate for ethnic people as he accuses his charge he requested…is this movie making…political allegories to us?
- FUN FACT: The wheat stalks shown on the Veldt set location were planted before part 1 started filming. Zack Snyder timed it so the stalks would be the right size when they started filming. Then they took the same amount of time it took to grow to show how it was harvested…in slowwww motionnnn.
- All hail Admiral Atticus Noble, he of the five-percent body fat.
- Tarak’s plot armor is incredible: he runs shirtless onto a battlefield with melee weapons into oncoming las-gun fire and does not get shot.
- The breakaway Imperial soldier Aris (Sky Yang, Tomb Raider [2018]) from the first movie survives to the end of the film, hopefully to carry on with his love interest Sam (Charlotte Maggi, “MaveriX” [TV-Netflix]).
- Jimmy (Anthony Hopkins, “Westworld” [TV-HBO], Transformers the Last Knight) shows up to wipe out an entire armored battalion BY HIMSELF, thanks to his laser-proof chassis.
- Devra Bloodaxe (Cleopatra Coleman, “The Last Man on Earth” [TV-Fox], Cobweb) and the Resistance™ show up to help defend Veldt with her contingent of fighter craft that did not get wiped out when Darius (Ray Wise, Justice League [2016]) died.
- The people condemned to death by the Imperium wear black bags over their heads with a stylized crying eye on it, and it’s one of the most effective pieces of psychological torture in the Imperium’s arsenal.
- Watching Doona Bae react to the presence of children on Veldt really sold Nemesis’ backstory.
- Staying on Nemesis, she died the most pointless death defending as she had a room full of ARMED villagers that watched her die. The only person that helped her was a small boy (Caden Dragonmer, Sweet Tooth).
- I’m pretty sure Milius and Tarak are gonna make a cute couple, as they’ve been shunted into a love affair by the script.
- I’m very glad to see Zack Snyder weave the eagles’ scene from the end of The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies and the funeral pyre scene from Return of the Jedi into his science fiction fantasy pastiche.
- The King’s Gaze seems to be an analog design marvel: it has slaves shoveling “space coal” into the ship’s furnace to power highly-powerful weapons on a capital space-faring vessel. The main guns are positioned by crank-handles. The engine core is weird: it’s sculpted to look like a humanoid head with power tubing pouring out of its mouth. The eyes also open and follow you wherever you go.
- Imperial troopers are poorly observant and bad shots: perhaps the Kingdom of Motherworld needs to feed its people without being put in danger to prevent eye-related birth defects. If they ate regularly before shaking down farmers for grain, they could actually fight and perform their duties well.
- For her crime against the royal family Kora/Arthelais was cursed: she can never hold on to true love, as she has lost lovers to death twice.
- As I watched part two, I couldn’t help but thing all two (or three?) films were shot concurrently.
