MOVIE REVIEW: Star Wars episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
DAMN IT. All the people at Disney had to do is stick the landing. That’s it.
So the final installment in the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy had me going for a while. It was jumping around all choppy, and I did try my best to keep up. It was fun and wild, taking us all over the galaxy in colorful places with crazy stunts and situations. We got to see a ship that was not the Millennium Falcon fly for our heroes. Something I thought was gonna be lame turned out to be a fun thing in its execution.
But then came the ending.
The moment we fade in to another planet instead of a wipe or sharp cutaway or a blending transition, I knew something was up. What I saw on-screen in the last 3 minutes of The Rise of Skywalker was a shart: started out as a fart, ended up as shit. The series did not have to end that way AT ALL. I won’t spoil the ending here, but I will talk about the good things as I always try to do in my reviews.
There’s an idea I had based on a scene near the end: at the Resistance celebration at the end of the war, Jannah (Naomi Ackie, Whitney Houton: I Wanna Dance With Somebody [2022], Mickey 17 [2025]) and Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams, Mahogany [1975], The Ladies Man [2000]) have a chat about where they’re from. Jannah has no idea, since she was kidnapped by the First Order and turned into a Stormtrooper at a young age. “Let’s find out,” was all Lando had to say to open up the floodgates to a new storyline.
So follow along with a (mostly) new crew: Lando, Finn, Jannah, Rose Tico, Poe, R2, Chewie, Maz Kanata, and the new D-0 droid go on an adventure to repatriate the members of Stormtrooper Company 77 found on the ocean moon of Endor. They can do this on the Millennium Falcon, or another ship that can fit at least 50 people comfortably along with the Falcon in the hangar bay. On this trip, we can learn more about Finn’s Force sensitivity, fight First Order remnants and any slavers to slice their tech for intel, pair up the crew on missions to flesh out their characters, and HOPEFULLY have happy endings for all the Company 77 Stormtroopers.
There will always be people who want Jedi dogma and pretty lightsaber fights, so give ’em what they want: throw in Force-sensitive people from other Star Wars properties like an older Cal Kestis or Ezra Bridger (or even Ahsoka Tano or Sabine Wren back from Peridea in the far galaxy) to become Finn’s master as he becomes a Jedi padawan. Maybe Grogu (aka “Baby Yoda”) could become a part of this movie somehow. If a Jedi can have more than one master, fine; if not, then adjust as necessary. It’ll be a new story for a new generation of moviegoers that want to see the aftermath of a galaxy-spanning war and what it does to people, AND it’ll still have the Force.
We did Death Star-type weapons four times (episodes IV, VI, VII, and Rogue One) so no matter what, it CANNOT be another race against the clock to stop a planet-killing super-weapon. That’s what I want to see: a Star Wars story with no connection to a planet-killing super-weapon. Granted, that movie was called Solo: A Star Wars Story but I think Disney should try again and take a hint from the world of “Andor” for a Star Wars world. I don’t know how much time Billy Dee Williams has left (he’s almost 90 years old), but it would be nice to see happen. Even if he passes away before it happens, it can still be done.
It was said “the Force is female”, most recently made manifest by the Force witches in the Disney+ series “The Acolyte”. If those women were a cross-section of humanoids in the Star Wars galaxy, you can bet the Resistance and the Rebellion were always colorful — its costumes AND its people of all races, genders, species, beliefs, and loves. It’s my new hope for the future of the franchise that the Star Wars galaxy moves towards greater and more meaningful inclusiveness, because there’s room for everyone in a galaxy far, far away.
That ending, though? Tanked the whole ship, like a torpedo on the water-line. It was rushed like the HBO’s “Game of Thrones” ending, and should have been better.
CHOICE CUTS:
- Watching Daisy Ridley grow over the past three movies has been a pleasure; she is still an itty-bitty thing, but her legs have grown so strong from all the lightsaber choreography training and climber training and outdoor work for the movie. Her face is paler than her body, yet her body is always covered — a sure sign she is out & about, working it out. Go get it, girl.
- Welcome back, General Calrissian.
- Gloves look good on Rose Tico; I mention her because she was shafted in this movie so hard and I felt like I needed to say something. Granted, other outlets have, but I wanted to have my say. I wish there was more of her; put her on one other mission. Make her part of the next series of movies, if she’ll come back!
- I truly enjoyed Naomi Ackie as Jannah, and wanted more from her character: here we have a young woman who is an ace shot and very hot, with a similar background to Finn. They’d have a lot in common…if he’d just stick to making their relationship happen instead of screaming for Rey all the time. Perhaps if they continue Jannah’s story, there may be something there.
- Kylo Ren/Ben Solo’s last battle was fun to watch. Especially the gesture he makes at the start.
- LIGHTSABER THROW!!!!!
- Emperor Palpatine was good to see again. Listening to him talk to Rey was fun, as he listened as any elder would to the problems of the youths…then promptly went into his usual pattern of behavior (i.e., murder by force lightning). Truly, the bitch is back.
- The Millennium Falcon survives.
— previously published 12/25/2019 on Facebook Notes —
