MOVIE REVIEW: Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

To quote Chris Hemsworth as Thor Odinson in Avengers: Infinity War, “All words are made up.” A true statement, but the meaning (and even understanding) of words change over time. This also applies to visual and storytelling concepts, especially when dealing with fictional characters. I make this reference, because of the one thing lacking in this movie that’s in the title: love.

NOT ALL BLACK: Christian Bale as the scene-chewing, Necrosword-wielding villain Gorr.

The fourth Thor movie opens with a man called Gorr (Christian Bale, Equilibrium, American Psycho, Reign of Fire) and his daughter (played by Chris Hemsworth’s daughter India Rose Hemsworth). After begging his deity to save his sick daughter and being rudely rebuffed by the same, Gorr takes an artifact called “All-Black” the Necrosword (conveniently placed nearby after the former wielder’s death) and commits deicide. In light of this singular god’s behavior, Gorr assumes all gods are like the rude one he just killed and he makes an oath: ALL GODS MUST DIE. This puts one of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes at risk, but Thor is dealing with another problem: the tone of the film.

While deities of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (represented in glorious raiment and surroundings in Omnipotence City) are murdered by Gorr, the tone varies wildly: Thor has an existential crisis, cracks jokes to hide his pain, and adopts two giant screaming goats straight out of the early 2010’s meme culture as another joke to distract. If that wasn’t bad enough, we find out that Thor’s ex-girlfriend Jane Foster (played by Natalie Portman, Garden State, Closer, LEON: the Professional) has developed stage 4 cancer in her body since we last saw her. She doesn’t want to die, so she goes to New Asgard for a cure — their medicine and technology should be enough. This is fruitless, but she finds a substitute in the broken pieces of Mjolnir through a loophole set down by Thor in their happy moments. This brings Jane (now the Mighty Thor and wielder of the rejoined Mjolnir) and Thor into direct conflict with Gorr. It’ll take more than two Thors to stop the “God Butcher”; they’ll need an army of gods — easily rallied in Omnipotence City.

THE REVENGERS: Our team on mission in Omnipotent City include Jane Foster (as the Mighty Thor) and Thor Odinson in the front, with Korg and King Valkyrie as rearguard.

There’s a lot of emotional information and story presented in this movie that, if developed, could make for lasting impact. Sadly, we are never allowed these moments to properly develop because they’re undercut with a joke or last-minute action shoved into the scene (like the Jason Momoa Aquaman movie from 2018, whenever any emotional development was about to happen, an explosion would break it up). As a result, the emotions and action stakes have no weight. The jokes do not land; the entire movie suffers as a result.

If the goal was to make people happy, laugh, and cheer at the flashing lights and booming noise so they don’t get sad and cry when they watch your movie with serious issues (children dying, lovers dying, deicide), the filmmakers succeeded — but what is the point of laughter and happiness if you don’t have tears and sadness for comparison? They are meaningless, just like this movie. Thor: Love and Thunder is all thunder and no love, because love requires room for tears and sadness. They need to take the word “Love” off the title.

BUT PERHAPS THAT’S JUST ME~MAYBE I’M APPLYING A MEANING OR UNDERSTANDING THAT ISN’T THERE

CHOICE CUTS <<SPOILERS AHEAD>>:

• This movie’s storyline was VERY loosely based on parts of the Thor comic book mythos: the 2013 storyline “The God Butcher” (where Gorr makes his debut) and the 2015 Mighty Thor run (where Thor could not lift Mjolnir, but cancer-ridden Jane Foster could — and became the Mighty Thor).
• Far too much Guns ‘n’ Roses music. Paid all that money to run the G’n’R catalog for what exactly?
• Appreciate the Terry Bogard reference.

BLONDE AMBITION: Chris Hemsworth, blond actor in question.

• KING Valkyrie. I guess it still works, as only a king may rule Asgard and Thor chose Valkyrie to succeed him.
• The idea of worthiness to wield Mjolnir is no longer in debate according to this movie, probably due to the convoluted nature of what constitutes worthiness. The definition varies wildly between religions, cultures AND individuals, so it would be best to leave the subject alone and follow the through-line from Avengers: Endgame.
• Jane Foster as the Mighty Thor is NOT the first time Thor has been depicted as a woman, a woman has wielded Mjolnir, a woman has taken on a costume similar to that of Thor, or the power of Thor has been granted to a woman. Female members of this club include “Thordis” AKA Jane Foster (Earth-788) (What If? #10 [1978]), Storm (Earth-616) wielding a version of Mjolnir created by Loki (X-Men Annual #9 [1985]), “Stormborn, Goddess of Thunder” AKA Storm (Earth-904) wielding a hammer with similar properties to Mjolnir (What If? #12 [1990], Thors #1 [2015]), Rogue (Earth-941066) [What If? #66 [1994]), and Sarah Rogers (Earth-9811), daughter of Rogue and Captain America wielding Mjolnir and Cap’s shield (What If? #114 [1998]). There’s also that time Thor Odinson (Earth-9997) was turned into a woman by Odin (Earth X #1, [1999]). This listing is not exhaustive.
• Darcy Lewis (actress Kat Dennings) is also there briefly, but no sign of Dr. Selveig.
• The return of Natalie Portman as the Mighty Thor was a great touch, but the constant digital retouching on her face is a reminder that Mjolnir can turn you into an idealized version of yourself — but it cannot stop the march of time and its inevitable end (and perception thereof).
• Speaking of the inevitable end for all mankind, what is with the tone concerning Jane’s cancer death? Surely there had to be another way to do this. I guess Disney doesn’t want people crying at the end of their superhero movies where people die of cancer.
• The Guardians of the Galaxy are here briefly to establish a through-line from the end of Avengers: Endgame, where Thor left New Asgard with Peter Quill and the other Guardians to “find himself”.
• The appearance of the cosmic being Eternity and arrival of Singularity. The significance of this event cannot be understated.

HEAVY PORTENTS: If Eternity (the darker seated figure) shows up in a future Marvel movie, make sure to pay very close attention because something will change.

• The rendering of Valhalla was a wonderful sight — but not as amazing as seeing Idris Elba as Heimdall again. They must have paid him a lot of money for this appearance, since he said he was done with Marvel movies.
• Omnipotence City, a floating citadel in outer space, is the gathering place of many deities from many worlds. Why they allowed Zeus to be their leader is anyone’s guess.
• SPECIAL MENTION: Russell Crowe as racist-Mediterranean-caricature Zeus. Also Brett Goldstein as Hercules, to reference a future encounter between Thor and Hercules (shown in a long-running comic-book rivalry spanning nearly 60 years!)
• Director Taika Waititi made a point to show as many deities as he could from Earth’s current and past cultures in Omnipotence City, some of whom/which have never been depicted in any visual medium.
• BIG fan of the nebula that leeches color from the light spectrum (or alternately, paints the surfaces with a color imperceptible to the eye).
• Two words: CHILD SOLDIERS. All with the power of Thor. Someone said this is a good idea and put it to paper, then it was greenlit and filmed.
• The more I think about how people coolly gloss over the death of other humans in film (Jane’s cancer, Gorr’s daughter) but are ready to cry over injured animals in film and real life while their neighbor struggles to eat makes me sick SORRY SORRY I’M IN MY HEAD AGAIN SORRY~